Good afternoon, Patriots!
We're proud to announce that soup rations are increasing by 5% today, as reward for the success in the Battle for Orngraff!
CREATU was battered back as wave after wave of our CrowBot soldiers decimated the tin tanks of the front line, taking back the town that General Lincolnstein allowed to be captured in a clever ruse!
Over 10,000 bestial foes were captured or destroyed, making this a solid victory of epic proportions. You support for our troops has been the difference between life and death!
All hail the AUTHORITY! All hail LINCOLNSTEIN!
Programming will now return to previously recorded crop segment reports.
