10 signs you might have been abducted by monsters by Duke Davis, Monsterologist level 7
- You wake up sleepy. You don't know why.
- You find mysterious substances beneath your fingernails. Or supper plate.
- Your honey jar is unusually empty.
- Your wallet is a leaf. (Any sort.)
- Bees are friendly to you. Mostly.
- Your elbows are tender OR you favor your little toe for calligraphy.
- Wax seems like a reasonable sandwich condiment.
- You wake up in the desert in a cardboard box OH MY GAWD which is sitting on top of a dirty old pallet that you've never seen before (or since) and your mouth tastes of a combination of duck feathers shoe polish DEAR LORD and Polish sausage casings and you have some claw marks on your abdomen I'VE BEEN HIT and the yarn tired around your left ankle matches your headband and you have a mysterious bruise on the back of your head SO VERY SORE just above the neckline but HOW DID THAT HAPPEN I can't remember WHY AM I IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DESERT?! Again?
- You find brooms somehow comforting, but less comforting than your Janitor's hugs.
- The monsters told you so.
I am to be trusted.
I am Monsterology.
- Dr. Duke Davis, Member of middling standing in the Top Hat Brigade.
