The following is a paid advertisement for Dr. Duke's Monster Poisons:
Friends, neighbors, infants and Patriots!
Today is the day that you end this monster menace.
I'm not talking about France or trees or cougars, I'm talking about MONSTERS! With a capital "M".
These hideous beasts seek to steal your sweaters, your jobs, your inventories of fine honeys. They want your women, and men, and cats. In short, they want to own YOU.
But it's not too late to stop them.
Yes, with Dr. Duke's Monster Poisons, your life can be as clean as a two dollar icicle. With just a few quarts in the eye gaskets of an illegal beast, you can end him and get back to your relaxing day of recreation and vegetable canning.
It's not too late, if you've got some Duke's!
